Mr Mistoffelees

England bought him for £1,500, and the horse has since earned nearly £32,000 in prize money — over twenty times his purchase price. That's the kind of return that makes a trainer smile and shrug at the same time. He rarely wins, but he keeps showing up in the frame, picking up cheques, and refusing to embarrass anyone. England has described him as a funny horse with loads of talent who simply needs to be humoured and handled on his own terms. When he finally won at Newcastle in October 2025 — his most recent victory — England joked that the horse nearly shocked himself. That says everything you need to know about his relationship with winning.

His best distance is somewhere between a mile and a mile and a half, and over that range he has won 2 of his 20 races — a 10% win rate, which is actually double his overall average. It's a small but telling sign that when conditions suit him, he's a different animal. Most of his racing has come at Class 4 level, which sits in the middle of the British racing pyramid — competitive enough to be meaningful, without the pressure of the top tier. He has won just 1 of those 22 Class 4 races, but again, the places keep coming.

His most regular partner in the saddle is Oisin Orr, who has ridden him in 7 of his races and won once together — that's 1 from 7, or 14%, which is actually above Mr Mistoffelees' usual standards. He raced just yesterday, so this is very much a horse in the middle of an active campaign. Recent form of 5-7-8-6-2-1 shows a horse that drifted out of the picture for a while before finishing second and then winning. Whether that Newcastle win has given him a taste for it, or whether he's already filed the whole experience away as an anomaly, is perhaps the most interesting question around him right now.